All Dogs Go to Heaven

Yesterday was a sad day for me. We put our 16 year old Cocker Spaniel, Copper, to sleep. He was the best dog anyone could ask for and even though he could kill you with his bad breath and rancid 'gas' I will him him. Many nights growing up he kept me warm at night sleeping in my bed and he was always there when I needed a friend. He always had a way to tell you "it's going to be ok" with his eyes.

He was a strange dog. Only dog I've ever know that was afraid of the dark. And he would howl on queue as long as you got him started. He was the kindest most loving little puppy on four legs. In the end it was old age that took him. I know we put him down but that was to rescue him from the pain he was in. So here is my message to Copper.

Copper I love you and you will be missed. You were the best dog and I hope you met up with Sasha on the other side and that you are happy. Take care of my mom for me will ya! Save a place for me in heaven!

Watching history happen

Can I just say how very exciting the Olympics are. I don't care if its the summer or the winter games, they are both amazing. What other time in our lives to we get to watch history as it happens, in a good way that is. I mean everyday we can turn on the TV and see war, tragedy and pain that will go down in the history books but only once every two years do we get to watch the best part of history. The kind of history where we see people beat all odds and achieve their goals and dreams. Where we cheer when they succeed and the whole world seems to forget the worry and the war and the pain and the anger and come together for a few day of peace and healthy competition. Wouldn't it be amazing if in stead of fighting wars we battled out our differences in a game of Ice Hockey or Basketball...winner takes all. Think of all the lives we would save!

Tonight I got to witness history. Even Lysacek, won a Gold Medal in the Men's Figure Skating event. It was the first time any man has won the World Championships and Olympic Gold since Scott Hamilton in 1984 and he was the first American man to win gold in figure skating since 1988. They will talk about tonight for years and years to come and I was lucky enough to watch it as it happened. I sat on the edge of my seat (ok so it was more like laid on the edge of the couch) and held my breath during his free skate tonight. Hoping and praying that he would skate clean and land his jumps and his program was amazing. The others came out to skate and it was clear to me that they just didn't have the same fire and determination as Even as they skated. At the end of the night, when the scores were posted I watched as he celebrated with his coach and family and then as he received his Gold Medal. It is an amazing witness to me that if you put everything you have into what you love you can succeed. I hope we can all take a page from Even as we strive to achieve our dreams, and that we can remember the only person who will prevent you from achieving your dreams is YOU!

Life is......(fill in the blank)

So much has happened since my last post. I really need to make this more of a priority in my life and quite spending so much time on facebook :p Lots of things have changed in my life recently. So lets just get into it shall we?

Family: My kids are doing fine...better than fine probably. They get to see there dad a whole lot more which I know makes them happy even if it stresses me out a bit. I agreed to go back to the original plan of "standard" parent-time with my ex which means he takes the kids on Wednesday nights (not really anything new) and every other weekend (that is the change I have to get used to). Matt has made great progress in his struggle to "get better" so I decided that he could maybe handle the boys alone. I didn't take into account how much it would stress me out because I realize now that I don't trust him...at all...but he has never given me much reason to so what am I to do right? PRAYER has been a big factor in my relationship with my ex, whatever that might be, and with my kids.

Mom is, well she's mom. She still drives me crazy but things have gotten more relaxed between us since I started working. I think the hours apart do us good. She has actually got up and gone out of the house for the first time in months today to try and do something to bring a little money in the home. I can't even begin to express how relieved I am with that. Maybe she'll chill a little if she feels productive again. Maybe not but hey a girl and hope right?

Work: I finally found a job. It's only part time but it's fun and it helps. Every little bit helps right? It's a real easy job but I like the people I work with so I stay with it. I'm still looking for a more permanent full time position but this will work for now. I think I have an small idea of what missionaries feel like though. Getting told no all the time isn't any fun but it sure makes the yes sweeter!

I am have found a second part-time job working from home but I am starting to worry that it isn't ligit. This guy hired me to be his Personal Assistant from my resume alone and I have only ever communicated with him via email and IM. It's kind of un-nerving not knowing who your boss is. I am starting to wonder if I should tell him "thanks but no thanks" and move on.

Love: Can I just say that being single again has it's ups and downs. I remember now why I never liked dating before I got married which is probably why I didn't do much of it. Why does dating have to be such a game. Why can't we just be honest with each other and communicate by saying what we really mean. I am who I am so take it or leave it. Why do I have to try to be more or less of who I am to make people like me? Uhhhh!!! I hate this feeling so much. It's so confusing. Why can't people just be honest about how they feel so there are no questions? Can anybody explain it to me? My little brother tells me "that's just how it works so learn to play the game" but I don't think that's fair and I don't want to play. I just want to win....can't I skip to the end?

Well I guess that's all for now. Better get ready for work.