Family: My kids are doing fine...better than fine probably. They get to see there dad a whole lot more which I know makes them happy even if it stresses me out a bit. I agreed to go back to the original plan of "standard" parent-time with my ex which means he takes the kids on Wednesday nights (not really anything new) and every other weekend (that is the change I have to get used to). Matt has made great progress in his struggle to "get better" so I decided that he could maybe handle the boys alone. I didn't take into account how much it would stress me out because I realize now that I don't trust him...at all...but he has never given me much reason to so what am I to do right? PRAYER has been a big factor in my relationship with my ex, whatever that might be, and with my kids.
Mom is, well she's mom. She still drives me crazy but things have gotten more relaxed between us since I started working. I think the hours apart do us good. She has actually got up and gone out of the house for the first time in months today to try and do something to bring a little money in the home. I can't even begin to express how relieved I am with that. Maybe she'll chill a little if she feels productive again. Maybe not but hey a girl and hope right?
Work: I finally found a job. It's only part time but it's fun and it helps. Every little bit helps right? It's a real easy job but I like the people I work with so I stay with it. I'm still looking for a more permanent full time position but this will work for now. I think I have an small idea of what missionaries feel like though. Getting told no all the time isn't any fun but it sure makes the yes sweeter!
I am have found a second part-time job working from home but I am starting to worry that it isn't ligit. This guy hired me to be his Personal Assistant from my resume alone and I have only ever communicated with him via email and IM. It's kind of un-nerving not knowing who your boss is. I am starting to wonder if I should tell him "thanks but no thanks" and move on.
Love: Can I just say that being single again has it's ups and downs. I remember now why I never liked dating before I got married which is probably why I didn't do much of it. Why does dating have to be such a game. Why can't we just be honest with each other and communicate by saying what we really mean. I am who I am so take it or leave it. Why do I have to try to be more or less of who I am to make people like me? Uhhhh!!! I hate this feeling so much. It's so confusing. Why can't people just be honest about how they feel so there are no questions? Can anybody explain it to me? My little brother tells me "that's just how it works so learn to play the game" but I don't think that's fair and I don't want to play. I just want to win....can't I skip to the end?
Well I guess that's all for now. Better get ready for work.
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